đ âI was immediately drawn in, and thought it was beautiful in look and feel but above all, pitched so well in tone and content – readable but not dumbing down the subtlety or complexities of relating. Â Such a great structure around those 15 topics – as it means a parent isn’t swamped – you just go to the one you are worried about. I am finding my thoughts extended and understanding deepened by reading it. Itâs really WELL DONE!â
Steve Biddulph, psychologist and world-renowned parenting author.
đ “Theyâll be Okay is an essential parentsâ toolkit. Â Positive and practical. Â It is packed with good advice for parenting through all your childâs ages and stages.â
Kim McCabe, author of âFrom Daughter to Woman, parenting girls safely through their teensâ and founder director of Rites for Girls.
đ “I wish that I could have read this book when my boy was a young lad. As an adoptive parent of a 9-year-old, I laboured hard to be a supportive dad. In Theyâll be okay – 15 conversations to help your child through troubled times, leading psychologist Collett Smart gives todayâs parents the toolkit they need to handle the difficult conversations with young people growing up in our media-saturated times.
There are lots of suggestions for conversation starters, truly the hardest part of any interaction with a young person. Collett also has ideas about how to keep difficult discussions alive and how to make them conversations rather than a rant by the older person. There is both art and science in her ideas.
She begins with talking about the very young and explores many different aspects of the staying-safe message. At the same time, there is a lot here that will still be useful for you when your children are in their 20s. After all, being a parent is a very long-term commitment.
The book is rich in detail and Collett sensibly completes each chapter with a summary of key points. These summaries are the real gold of the book. If you are a time-poor parent, and who isnât, then this book can set you on the good path to helping your childâs problems with only a couple of minutesâ preparation. This is truly the recipe for ensuring that your kids will âbe okayâ.”
Dr Darryl Mead – Chair, The Reward Foundation: Love, Sex and the Internet, UK
đ “Collett Smart has written the perfect book for parents and caregivers of millennials. It is a challenging time for tweens and teenagers as they try to cope with the unchartered waters of social media and the internet. However, with this remarkable, well-written and informative book, adults can be reassured they will have accurate and research-based information at their finger tips. Well done Collett! A much needed book for our times.”
Jayneen Sanders, childrenâs author, teacher and advocate for body safety education.
đ “Are you a parent or teacher looking for a comprehensive, readable, evidence-based resource for guiding teens/tweens in todayâs sexualized environment? Order this book. ‘THE’LL be OKAY’Â is brimming with awkward subjects and actual questions from teens/tweens. Smart supplies practical tips for dealing with them. More importantly, she models a philosophy and approach that a reader can integrate with ease. By the end of the book, parental feelings of helplessness are likely to diminish substantially, replaced by confidence and a reliable internal gyroscope.Â
Honest and factual, Theyâll Be Okay urges thoughtful dialogue with teens/tweens as a way to help them understand their love-worthiness, and develop the ability to love others. Parents play a critically important role in providing sex/porn/intimacy education to their childrenâŠeven in an era where they may have to check an online slang dictionary before they can comprehend their offspringâs questions.Â
Smart assures us that sexual feelings are normal, and emphasizes that what kids do with those feelings is what matters. âTeens are told, âHave sex when you are ready!â but we forget to teach them to question how to be certain that the person they are with is also ready.â Smart urges kids to reflect on, and set, their boundaries in advance of encounters, and to discuss how they will know what a partnerâs boundaries are.
Some of the tips Smart emphasizes are: never shaming kids for their curiosity or errors, modeling healthy behaviors, and inducing critical thinking and forethought. She furnishes specific tips and questions that parents and teachers can use with teens/tweens, such as: âWhat do you think that picture is trying to make you think/feel?â âWhat do you think a person in real life would feel if this happened to them?â She also shares specific phrases kids can use to stand up for those being bullied.
Smart urges parents and schools to recognize that porn exposure is inevitable and toxic, as well as furnishing ways they can ready themselves and their charges. She notes, âDiscussions about pornography fit easily into programs on a healthy digital diet or digital citizenship, alcohol and binge drinking, family violence and bullying.”
Gary Wilson, TEDx Speaker and Author:Â Your Brain On Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction
đ “Covering the key issues faced by children and young people, Collett provides brilliant insight and strategies to inspire conversations that will set kids up for life. Collett encourages parents and carers to step up through clearly articulating values, modelling respect, leading communication by example, and being attune to whatâs going on for our kids in order to help them through their inevitable challenges. A must read for anyone raising children, tweens or teens – applying the principals in ‘THEY’LL be OKAY’ is bound to bring positive outcomes for the whole family.”
Liz Walker, Deputy Chair – eChildhood, Managing Director – Youth Wellbeing Project.